Lesson Learned

I am writing about a character who teaches but not in the traditional way.  She lives her life by how she views the world and her view is complicated to those around her; yet it is so simple to her. Others observe her with reverence without knowing why.  They just know that she carries a bright light inside of her, and when they bask in that light....they feel better....lighter somehow.  The weight of the world is no longer heavy.

Unfortunately, she views herself as a double edged sword. That is a path of such profound blessings that the euphoria is almost painful and the hurt is almost blissful. Her life is a dichotomy of yin and yang.  She cannot get to the blessings without walking through some sort of fire.  She cannot escape the burn and carries the scars as badges of where she has been.

She is viewed as intimidating and is the antithesis of that.  Her goal is simply to be understood.  She is met with closed doors on this difficult journey.  Eventually she feels trapped in that very place where all the doors have been closed to her.  She constantly looks for a door or even a window to escape.  Feeling suffocated by the constraints of  being misjudged, she never stays in one place long enough to see the tiny bright light that peeks through that very last door....in the very last room.

If only she had the strength to see that last door, she would see a heart with understanding.  Finally, something placed in HER path, to stop her in her tracks and make her stay in the room instead of running from the potential of another fire. 

Alas, the journey has exhausted her and she tires of it.  She cares not if she sees the opened door. It doesn't matter if she is understood.  She just...is.

She is a tough character to write about.  I have to take her through a lot of pain before her self discovery.  I think that is the greatest gift of pen to paper (or fingers to computer!) The observation of people and little discoveries we make along the way... make us think.  As long as we are thinking, we are present.  I have said it before....breathe deeply and taste life like the exquisite gift that it is.