A Fearful Moment in Time

The view from her small cold room.

She was tired and cold.  The floors were made of stone and felt cold under her feet even with shoes on. She sat on her narrow cot that passed for a bed and grabbed the rough wool  blanket and wrapped it around her shoulders tightly. Nothing took away the bone-chilling cold. She was worried about the children she was sworn to protect and questioned her belief that she could actually do it.  While pondering this she was lost in her fear...and then she heard them again.....the faint footsteps rushing past her door.  Were they barefoot?  She wanted to push open the door and see what was happening, but she was frightened....realizing that she was part of something bigger and some way...some how she had to stay focused so that she could get to the truth.

Almost Finished....

I am finishing up some of my editing today and then it goes to my editor for more work.  It's amazing when you re-read something how things can appear differently day to day.  It's just a kind of "go with your gut" thing when you are editing your own writing.  It's a matter of wanting to move someone with your words...to be in the moment where they are right there with me hearing, seeing, tasting and smelling all the same things that my characters do...and  hopefully, wanting to know more and more about them as they turn the pages...or touch their LCD screen's!

The Wonder of Nature

Female cardinal

 One of the areas I work from in my home, afforded me this lovely view this morning.  These two birds were chirping back and forth and I assumed they were mates.  Then when they flew in closer to me, I saw that one was a cardinal and one a bluejay. In nature they are unsuited for one another, just like my characters.

From different worlds,  yet somehow ultimately so similar that it draws them together like fireflies. They are on the side of "right" in a place of chaos.  Their story plays out in a country worn out from war...a ravaged countryside filled with the blood of their ancestors.

Male blue jay

Editing....editing......editing.....

Today is an editing day. I want to get it all done before I go to the place where my story comes to life....the beautiful country of Montenegro. 

Circumventing the System

Juliet, Bella, Nico and Brynn Sophia

These guys are always motivated by the same thing...a pat on the head or a treat.  I like to think they know the difference between my pat on the head, and a stranger's pat on the head....but alas...if it's love in any form, they will gladly take it. So like Pavlov's puppies,they have learned what it takes to get what they want! It's about them trying to circumvent the system. Most of the time you cannot do that to accomplish a goal. You will not get the same result if you try to shortcut your way to the end.  And that is why my pups are sitting patiently on the steps.  I have shown them their favorite treat....a greenie.  I spoke to them in the "Mom means business voice," and asked them to sit....then stay.  That's my system...in my home to keep 3-4 dogs semi-behaved and minding. They cannot circumvent my system, as we cannot circumvent the "system of life."  Just live it...work with it and enjoy!

But sometimes your immediate "system" is not one you like or would choose for yourself.  Perhaps you were born into it...just like my pups ended up with me.  And now as an adult...it no longer works for you and you abandon that way of life. My protagonist recently did this to stunning results...or should I say "shunning" results.

Laughing at Ourselves

Haven't you had times in your life when you took things too seriously? I know exactly when that is happening to me and sometimes I can stop it...but other times...that serious spore takes over my breathing space!  I think too much, over analyze and process information until I can no longer bear to think about it....and then I finally let it go.

Thank God that it does not happen often, but when it does I realize how much I would rather be laughing.  Hence, the picture of my whimsical fairy that is one of four.  Yesterday I had a friend come visit me and she just noticed this semi-hidden fairy...to which she declared..."You're kind of kooky....in your decorating style."  And that is exactly why they are hidden in my wall flower arrangements .....because they are kooky...they don't belong in the arrangement.....and they make me giggle and not take myself too seriously.

Whimsical fairy atop my wall art!

Children Touching our Hearts

Tiny Tot Sun Dancers

So much of my life has revolved around a love of children. The day I watched this little baby dance at a Pow Wow was quite extraordinary.  With 50 nations dancing ceremonial dances, from indigenous tribes around the globe, the mood was festive.  But there was more.....besides the exquisite clothing,  face paint, and the craftsmen displaying their handmade wares, there was an undercurrent of quiet strength. Generations of families participated in tribal ceremonies and prayers.  Many gutteral tongues were spoken....some with fluency and others with determination to keep a generation of children from forgetting their origins. 

At one point, I walked into a small tent.  Inside was an Aztec man selling his beautiful boots and pocketbooks and beaded jewelry. We had a conversation about heritage and tradition and having a sense of community.  I explained that I was searching for my tribal affiliation.  He encouraged me with the usual statements and asked me pertinent questions. Mexican heritage adds a whole other dimension to finding native identity. Although, I did not get any specific answers,  I did feel kinship especially when I placed the handbeaded periwinkle and turquoise shawl over my shoulders....or when I slipped the dark seafoam green leather boots on my feet and painstainingly drew the rough leather ties from my ankle to my knee.

Children seem to have a sense of belonging wherever they are....as long as they are loved.  Watching those children brought a smile to my heart.  They were learning who they were from the time they were born. They belonged to a community of history. What a lovely way to grow up!

What Did You Learn Today?

Who are you looking at? Doesn't every puppy sleep in pajamas?

I am reading an interesting book, Unorthodox by Deborah Feldman.  It is a very interesting story of a courageous woman who left all that she knows; her Hasidic community.  My protagonist did the same thing.

 What does it take for someone to leave all that they know?

What do you think? Please write me and tell me ...I would love to hear your ideas!

Summer of Adventure

This summer I am actually going to live the life of my protagonist.  I will sleep where she has slept, I will walk the streets that she has walked and stroll the beaches where she and her  husband spent their honeymoon. But first... I will eat the food of her childhood and visit where her life began. I will try to get as close to her people as I can...and that is a difficult task for they are private and shy away from the "English."

She has morphed into an amazing complex woman.  Her relationships are interesting and meaty which makes her life fascinating to watch unfold.  But make no mistake...she is imperfect. There are conflicts in her life where her meager beginnings come forth to cast judgment.  They just keep coming at her and rock the very core of her life...which she believes is beautiful....and because of where she came from...she believes innocently that her life is quite perfect.  As her story unfolds, we learn that happy endings are clearly a matter of perspective.