Not a Cozy Cottage....but an Oneida Nation Resort...

The best laid plans of mice and men....I planned on a cozy cottage and ended up at an Oneida Nation Resort/Casino.  Except for the smoking in the casinos that you must walk through to get to the restaurants....this place is poetic.  Quiet and peaceful, this resort gives tribute to the Native Americans of Verona, NY at every opportunity.  Hand carved wooden chairs and gas fireplaces dot the landscape to give the feel of the outside in every corner of the resort.  Gas fireplaces, while not natural, allow the ambience to continue even in the worst of weather and when they are lit, it feels peaceful.

Sitting on my balcony overlooking a man made pond, the sound of the birds singing...is almost too much sweet music.  With the trees budding more each day, they have come to enjoy the renewal of life along with their cousins, the butterflies.  It truly is beautiful to witness the re-birth of nature each spring. Here I sit in the middle of it...writing.

There is lots of greenery because there is a golf course here....and the required gym, spa and restaurants.  But I prefer to find a quiet spot with a handcarved wooden chair and my computer and go to work.

Today I am telling the story of another child of war who has seen too much tragedy in too few years. I hope that if your heart breaks from the sorrow of it....your spirit will be renewed....like that of my children who survive...like the spring that I am watching unfold in front of me....for it is a story that cannot go untold.

For the Love of Animals....

I am so grateful for all the messages about my sweet golden retriever Buddy.  So many have commented and sent me well wishes through emails from my website and facebook. I am deeply appreciative. It's the unconditional love that strikes that sensitive cord in all of us.  The love that is waiting for us when we arrive home from a tough day at work.  The cuddling that asks for nothing in return except more of the same. 

Our animals just ask to be fed and watered and for that they become our lifelong best friends. Maybe they would like a tickle on the ears or a pat on the back....but even without that....they will love us.  If only we humans could be so....let me think....so humane! 

I am truly blessed by the many pets that have crossed my path.  My memories take me back to the little girl riding her bicycle in search of strays.  Stuffing them into her overhauls (is that the correct spelling?!?) and taking them home to her unsuspecting parents, she would beg for the life of these animals.  No animal shelter was good enough for these newly captured babies.  Only she had a heart big enough for the likes of an Irish Setter mix who had been so badly beaten, he cowered at a loving touch. She named him Bentley Peter.  Only she knew how to care for the the little grey mut that took an instant dislike to her father.  That little boy was Napolean Jean Baptiste. Only she knew the right words to make her parents say yes to the new motley crew of pack animals.



Bella with her baby sister Juliet ages 3 1/2 and 1 1/2.   Bella is just getting over missing Buddy.

 However she was at a loss for words when the town called to say that there were too many dog licenses being issued to her address, and a kennel license was in order! That little girl was me...and I haven't stop collecting dogs or being lucky enough to be their owners. I am the one blessed by their love and honored by their loving presence in my life.

More on my lovely location and my writing in my next blog....writing it today!

Cozy Cottage.....

I found a beautiful cottage in NY state where I am going to immerse myself in my work....lovingly...happily...and totally.  I feel hopeful and unlimited and the need for adventure!

Good-bye Sweet Buddy




Heads together in play!





Still handsome in his old age.

So here is my Buddy! He passed away on March 22, 2011.  What a delightful loving dog he was. Sick from the age of six weeks, he plowed through life with the grace of a champion.  He took so much medicine and got so many shots, he became afraid of my touch, at which point, I took him off of all of it. He went to a doggy dermatologist for his awful skin problems.  He scratched daily to the point of bleeding...but his heart was strong and so sweet.  He loved people, animals and his baby brother and sisters that kept joining the pack.

At any given time you could see him on his back with the puppies hanging on his lip or ears or lying on top of him.  He never minded.  He had such a gentle heart.  My mother lived next door and when she was sick, he would pull me over to her front door and sat at the bottom of her chair every single day to keep her company.  They both loved the company.

 About six weeks before he died the vet diagnosed him with cancer.  He had many fatty tumors and the vet checked each one because golden retrievers get cancer a lot.  Everyone was negative until the last one that grew in his belly.  It was odd because Bella my 4 yr. old cockapoo, would not leave his side for the past six months....and I wondered... was Bella doing what Buddy had done for my mother? Then his belly got so big.... so suddenly.... that we took that fateful trip to the vet.

The day he died was like everyone before them. He went outside after eating and walked back in the house...and then his back legs collapsed and he looked a me with panic in his eyes....and I knew.

Lymphoma.... His brother Petey died of this 2 years before. Romeo the English Bulldog died from this at 22 mos. and now our Buddy. This particular cancer caused tumors to bleed... but I got him to the vet before any pain.  At least I pray that I did. He died peacefully in my arms.

When I arrived home, Bella smelled him on my pants and grabbed onto them and cried...for about an hour.  She was depressed for 2 weeks but came out of it because she loves to play with her brother and sister.

Dogs enrich your life so much...and when they die, a little piece of your heart goes with them.

I love you Buddy and I hope you're having the time of your life with Petey, Romeo, Beethoven, Sasha, Natasha, Katia, Brownie, Duchess Nutmeg, Napolean, Bentley Peter, Brandy Alexander, and all your other friends. 



 I had a talk with Nico, Buddy...and he's having trouble taking over your duties as man of the house.  If you have anything to teach him....if you can reach him...I would appreciate the help!  He can't seem to get that quiet grace thing like you had....he's more like the goofy jokester.

We miss you...and will always love you....you touched our hearts and brought us love each and every moment you were with us.

Good-bye dear friend.



























The man of the house looks after his brother and sister!





Ever patient with the influx of new puppies, Buddy let them chew on his ears or lip or whatever!



He loved to play and eat snow!



His brother Petey pre-deceased him by two years.  We brought them home on the same day.



Anonymous

 I often wonder about the children of war that I am writing about. The tragedy or triumph of the human spirit is a source of wonderment.  Obviously the tragedy part is tougher to write or think about but it is a fact.  Why is it that when some people are exposed to horrific circumstances, they manage to cope.  Others more than cope, they thrive. Some of them break apart like pieces of lifeless grey cement and disintegrate into the earth. The world is untouched by their lives and they become anonymous...forever....just the way they felt.

The Merry Go Round



Can you believe the wonder of nature?

                                     Did you ever feel like the world is spinning too fast and you want to jump off?  Probably we all do, but few of us actually take a break and slow down. The strong  woman that is my protagonist uses her choice of a bold, new life to get off her merry go round and seek something new.  It is a courageous choice with life altering consequences.  Not only does she see the changes...but so does the world!

How Do You Define Yourself?

My protagonist defines herself based on how people feel about her.  She is culturally handcuffed and spiritually deadlocked.  Her view of the world is colored...dark... dismal... overprotected... black. She cannot break out until she is motivated enough to turn her back on all that she knows.

It must have been gut wrenching for her to make that decision. I think about my characters as if they are my children.....but not in a motherly protective kind of way because that is not my job.  My job is to portray them honestly...as they truly are. Perhaps they are badly behaved or make bad decisions or disappoint you...or worse.  They have to be believable and real.  I have to see them for who they really are even if I am lucky enough to create their personalities.

The truth is, once she breaks free from her ties, she is able to embrace all that she already believes that she is...good and bad.

No Expiration Date!

 Life doesn't have an expiration date.  We are all living longer and playing harder.  With a longer life we are exposed to more sadness and bad news with our changing world. It is getting more difficult to ignore all that bad news and be positive.  As I have said many times....real life doesn't always have happy endings....but it does have a conclusion for each cirucumstance. Sometimes we hear things only when we are ready.  And...sometimes hearing that piece of information is that which opens our eyes!

My point is that we don't know much about how our life will play out... but we know a lot about ourselves and how we react to things. I know that if I am sad....my heart will ache.  If I am happy I will wear a smile that starts from my heart.  If I am angry or frustrated I try to expel that awful feeling from my heart.

My protagonist is a woman who takes advantage of life and lives it to the fullest.  She makes choices that hurt her but enrich her simultaneously.  Simply said...if you have never been sad how do you know if you are happy?  If you have never been happy....how do you measure your sadness?  If you have never felt anger or frustration you will never experience forgiveness.

She is an admirable woman, who is blessed by the love of an honorable man. In her world, the chances of her finding this man was slim to none...but she did.  And...therefore she lives her life differently than if she had never stumbled upon him. Life can change in a blink of an eye.  So buck up, be prepared and live it to the fullest, like my protagonist.  There is no expiration date stamped on your life.






Bella before haircut!

Nico before haircut!

Juliet before haircut!



After haircut!



Hands in the Dirt

There's something about gardening that makes a person feel connected to the earth.  The feeling of the dirt on your hands (and sometimes your face) somehow makes you feel like you are part of a bigger picture.  Clearly we are all part of that well framed, sometimes very chaotic world.  Gardening in your very small piece of it feels empowering somehow...that you are part of the world's growth and continuance.

Add sunshine, some beautiful colors, some new morning glory growth and a few early butterflies and you have a small patch of heaven.

Pick Your Battles....or Your Game Plan

There are moments of complete organization in my life when I am focused and moving forward with earnst.
Then are are moments when I am overwhelmed with work and decisions that take away that focus.  While they are not exactly battles, they feel like them when they overtake us.



It isn't lemonaid... it's water......but it does the trick!

 The game plan is the list and the completing of that list that makes it all work. We get sidetracked when life throws us a curve....but as I have said before...put a little sugar into your lemonade and you're good to go.

How Do We Write?

Writer's write from their lives.  They give characterization to their ideals, their morals and values...but in addition they give characterization to what they have observed about others which by the way.... may totally conflict with their view of the world.  Then we use our imagination to furnish the rest and fill in the blanks. The fun part is when you combine all of these to make your story.

That's what I'm up to today....the story within the story. 

I'm From the "Show Me" State

Trust is a sticky issue and talk is cheap.  As my protagonist learns about the "English" world, she finds that  not everyone is good for their word.  Is it easy to say "yes" to someone when they ask your help.  It is easy to say "I agree" when you are talking moral issues that are black and white and you are hoping your friend sits on the same side of the argument. If they don't....can you really be friends when you operate from such different belief systems? She finds that many people just say yes to be perceived as a good person.  But later in the week when you have changed your plans for this person, they back out of their commitment with a lame excuse leaving you with no time to ask someone else for that much needed help.

Poor woman....she believes that love conquers all.  We're not just talking passionate love, but rather the "love they neighbor" kind of love that very few people embrace.  Time and time again she is disappointed by humanity until she meets the children. With their beautiful open souls, there is no room for disappointment because they fill her heart with the purest kind of "yes." Their instinct is to believe and to love and it is the closest she has come to finding that which exists in her already.