Mindfulness

Recent months have brought a new and exciting challenge in my life. I am writing a health and wellness column for Social Life Magazine. I am honored by the opportunity and  enjoy the research and sharing tips I have found to be beneficial to optimum health. Doing this column has encouraged an introspective attitude towards my life. That introspection has taught me so much.

As time passed from my back-to-back paralysis from Neurological Lyme Disease, and a treadmill accident, I learned that negativity could make me sick and increase my pain. I have always tried to be positive, but definitely have fallen short at times. As the years went by, and I became discouraged with my progress. I wanted to feel less pain so I was forced to look at that progress with gratitude and positivity. With practice and diligence it worked. My mindset shifted ever so slightly and I was able to embrace my small victories knowing I was going forward towards optimum health.

After 6 1/2 years, I had to return to physical therapy to gain an understanding of the neuroscience of pain. Briefly, it teaches that outside worries and influences can make pain/stress/trauma/worries much worse. The nervous system becomes hypersensitive and flight or flight response is the new normal. Calming that response takes knowledge and the right exercises to stabilize and heal the pain.

I have found this thinking is applicable to every area of my life. Once we learn this lesson, which takes 20 minutes, there are remarkable changes in the brain as proven by patient MRI'S. This combined with hands on physical therapy and home exercises has decreased my pain and improved my ability to sit, stand and exercise. We actively work to get the fight or flight response down to a low level. Viewing my pain as the big bad wolf causes my pain to increase, but viewing it at an adorable wolf cub makes me smile! We are all our own best advocate for perfect health, but be prepared to work hard.

It helped greatly that I had some of the dynamics already implemented in my life. I have lived my life openly to all that is integral, healthy and kind.  Similarly, I have closed the spaces in my life that were defeating, energy depleting and unkind. It takes some time on the earth to grasp the concept and to get it right! Since life is a journey, I continually learn and evolve. It is difficult to close the door on bad habits and bad choices, but it is more difficult to live in a world where love IS NOT the operative word.

Negativity affects our health in a bad way. Dismissing negativity has the opposite effect. Mindfulness has become paramount to me, but I quickly learned that with each passing moment there is more to learn and more gratitude to embrace.

That my friends is love in its purest form.  Love thyself and watch how magnetic you have become. When you lead with love and positivity... it will bountifully return to you!

While Creating a Character...

It's always enjoyable to create a character from beginning to end....especially one that is challenging and pushes the envelope of everything in their life.  This character is very unhappy and suffers from a lack of self esteem. Completely narcissistic, he blames everyone else for his unhappiness and  spends hours searching the internet for something that will make him matter.  He studies websites and products with the prowess of a lion. Wanting to learn something different or special, he seeks validation from the knowledge he will gain and the people that may be impressed by this knowledge. 

Reading the social calendars of major party cities in the United States, he attends various functions and fundraisers that may become a forum for his new confidence.  He hopes that he will get noticed because he is simply himself and that in and of itself will be impressive to others. He studies more "things" and people of interest so that he can carry on a conversation with the rich and famous.  Because he is manipulating, he does finally get noticed, creating an interesting life and career for himself that has been greatly embellished and attracts attention.

Somewhere along the way, he slips back into his old ways of criticism and berating people because he feels "less than." It is quite obvious that although he has made some headway in moving up the social ladder, he will never gain their approval and he doesn't fit it.  More importantly, he will never gain his own approval and that is why he constantly lashes out at others.

He enjoys being contrary.  If you say "black" he says "white."  He  makes defamatory comments in public forums about public people. This is where the writing got fun for me!

I interviewed a private investigator to find out how to find the origin of the career maiming comments.  Who wrote them?  How do we trace the computer they came from?  Have they cowardly posted their comments anonymously and does that make finding them more difficult?

Once I gathered that information, I spoke with lawyers who handle cyber bullying and these interviews were even more fascinating.  I added the private investigators information to the attorneys information and I have one interesting man who could possibly be in a whole lot of trouble....or is it a woman using a man's identity?  Stay tuned to find out!



Lemonade is Sweet with a Good Attitude

Yesterday while driving home from a very full work day, the sky was grey and beginning to spit a few droplets of rain.  Friends of mine in Cape May, had the misfortune of picking the wrong three or four days for their mini vacation, and we keep meeting for meals to enjoy the lovely camaraderie and friendship, because the sunshine is nowhere to be found.  We are commiserating about the weather and wishing for the forecaster to change his tune.

Alas....he did not...but maybe...just maybe the weather did an about face on its own.  Today at breakfast amidst the French Press coffee, the chef's amazing pancakes, homemade oatmeal and the eggs benedict cooked to perfection...we will find so many things to smile and laugh about.  Enjoying the simpler things of life that truly are the meaningful ones...we will all watch as the sun peeks its beautiful head through the autumn cumulus clouds and one of us with say...."Go ahead....sunshine....come on out and make my day!"

The rest of us with laugh at the corniness of it, probably for much longer than it deserves, but totally aware of the finer things in our life....good friendship....good people and hearty smiles.

Lesson Learned

I am writing about a character who teaches but not in the traditional way.  She lives her life by how she views the world and her view is complicated to those around her; yet it is so simple to her. Others observe her with reverence without knowing why.  They just know that she carries a bright light inside of her, and when they bask in that light....they feel better....lighter somehow.  The weight of the world is no longer heavy.

Unfortunately, she views herself as a double edged sword. That is a path of such profound blessings that the euphoria is almost painful and the hurt is almost blissful. Her life is a dichotomy of yin and yang.  She cannot get to the blessings without walking through some sort of fire.  She cannot escape the burn and carries the scars as badges of where she has been.

She is viewed as intimidating and is the antithesis of that.  Her goal is simply to be understood.  She is met with closed doors on this difficult journey.  Eventually she feels trapped in that very place where all the doors have been closed to her.  She constantly looks for a door or even a window to escape.  Feeling suffocated by the constraints of  being misjudged, she never stays in one place long enough to see the tiny bright light that peeks through that very last door....in the very last room.

If only she had the strength to see that last door, she would see a heart with understanding.  Finally, something placed in HER path, to stop her in her tracks and make her stay in the room instead of running from the potential of another fire. 

Alas, the journey has exhausted her and she tires of it.  She cares not if she sees the opened door. It doesn't matter if she is understood.  She just...is.

She is a tough character to write about.  I have to take her through a lot of pain before her self discovery.  I think that is the greatest gift of pen to paper (or fingers to computer!) The observation of people and little discoveries we make along the way... make us think.  As long as we are thinking, we are present.  I have said it before....breathe deeply and taste life like the exquisite gift that it is.

Beautiful Day to Mention Crazy

Imagine three people who are connected by the paramour that divided a marriage.  The third party is one who observes them with the curiosity of a cat and the protection of a .....mother. She works covertly behind the scenes scoping out the whereabouts of the husband and wife.  It isn't long before she finds a cheating husband and a downtrodden wife.  The paramour is more wily than the sneakiest coyote and easily slips into the mix.

All are surprised when their worlds collide and fall apart. Why?  They saw it coming....they felt awareness yet ignored their instincts.  But maybe....just maybe it was their deepest instinct that called them to one another.  A man ignored by his sick wife, desperately in need of attention....a woman raising her four children alone and carrying a sickness from hell....and a stranger with such low esteem...she sacrifices all that she holds dear: marriage, family...children and most of all integrity.

Yes...it's a lovely day to mention crazy especially if it feels like home to them.

Full Circle

.....After the dust settles.....and people talk about your skills as being in the past, (for example a retired actor) there is probable reflection . "What could I have done better? Was my integrity intact as I followed my dream?"   In fact it should be on both sides, but when there is not...then the interesting facts start to emerge. Conversely what if a created character thought....he/she came between me and that job/dream/desire etc.? What if they NEVER had integrity? It happens.

Jealousy is so interesting to write about.   Many times it leads to vindictive actions and creates such a crazy character when you realize the lengths someone with go to interrupt someone's "good luck." Sometimes it's fun to add the spiritual component like a sprinkling of  red hot pepper to spice things up a bit. Either way, life isn't always sunny and wonderful..... sometimes happy endings are elusive.  The real key to happiness lies within ourselves and our reactions to that precarious thing we call life.

Instant Karma

I remember my mother and father telling me that whenever anyone is talking about you, good or bad....it means you are relevant.  Being relevant doesn't equate to famous, or important, just interesting enough to be  in conversation. When they stop talking.....the applause is gone and it's time to pass the baton....and then... sit down. This must be one heck of an exciting life if it's riddled with applause and baton passing! In this writer's opinion, keeping negative comments and criticisms in check will help keep negativity out of your life. Saying unkind things about other people, attracts negativity to them....but ultimately Karmic consequences to the person saying the negative things.  It can be instant and observable and create fascinating character flaws to keep my protagonist in complex yet interesting circles, for hours.

It's the stuff novels are made of!